Thanks to a good friend, I found the following article and had to share with you here. If you haven't talked with your teen about their social media use....you need to do it....NOW. Enjoy:
I’ve been mulling over this topic for quite some time, but this morning it became increasingly clear to me that I
must
say something. Folks, stranger danger is a real thing. And even more
real today than it was ten years ago thanks to, you guessed it, the
internet.
I speak specifically to the parents of kids old enough to be on
social medias. Of course, I am no such parent, but I am a teacher of
those kids. I am also only 6-10 years older than the high school
students I teach. Maybe that makes me unqualified to speak out, but
maybe it makes me the
most qualified candidate. Many of
my colleagues and the parents of my students are old enough to be my
own parents, so I tend to share a comraderie with my students. And yet, I
am far enough removed to be able to speak in ways that they cannot yet
speak for themselves.
The reason this subject has become suddenly so urgent to me is because today I read an article about a new website called
YouNow which
is essentially a livestream site that a person can set up a camera
feed and you can watch it constantly. Users can connect with cameras
using hashtags like #sleepingsoundly. In other words, people – teenagers
– are setting up cameras in their bedrooms so anyone, any stranger, can
watch them sleep… or whatever. And while the stream is happening, there
is a constant commentary by all watchers. I watched one today (for
about ten seconds because I felt totally creepy) of a teenager somewhere
singing on his porch. The comments ranged anywhere from “you have a
great voice you should date me” to much more obscene things like calling
the boy a “fag” and telling him he looked like various parts of
genitalia. Now yes, this website is not specifically marketed for teens,
and yes, there are terms of use that technically prohibit obscenity and
illegal acts. But if you know anything about teenagers you know that
they quickly find loopholes to most rules. The internet, especially
social media, is NOT safe. And it is sobering how real this is.
You may be thinking “I’m smarter than that. I have a facebook and I
watch my kids online.” You might have a Facebook. So do I. And so does
my mom and my grandma and all of her friends. But you know who doesn’t
have a Facebook? Your kid’s friends. I took an informal poll of my 150
students at the beginning of the year, and 60-80% of my students don’t
even have a facebook. They connect with each other on
Kik, an app that allows users to text each other without exchanging phone numbers. They use
Snapchat, an app that allows users to send pictures that
supposedly disappear forever after ten seconds. They use
Whisper, an app that a user can “
anonymously” tell their deepest secrets to a vast community of other secret sharers. They use
Yik Yak,
Vine,
Tumblr,
Twitter (do you know about
subtweeting? you should.),
Instagram,
Oovoo,
WhatsApp,
Meerkat, and sometimes even dating apps, like
Tinder.
The problem with thinking you’re smart is that I would almost
guarantee that there is at least one of those apps you’ve never heard
of. And if you aren’t on it, your kids probably will be.
Teenagers typically do not yet understand the importance of internet
safety. Along with the age-old feeling of invulnerability that
adolescence has always carried, now there is an unprecedented and
intimate access to a world wide community of strangers. So instead of
driving too fast or sneaking out at night, your kids might be posting
naked pictures on a website you’ve never heard of to people they’ve
never met.
I know, I know. Your child would
never do that! Let me tell you something:
You. Don’t. Know. That. You
know those tiny feelings you get every day but you cope nicely because
you’re an adult? Feelings like insecurity, boredom, even the loneliness
of being at home when your friends are all going out – well these
feelings are massive to teenagers. A combination of hormones and
inexperience create a veritable powder keg of unpredictable behavior.
Insecurity might lead to seeking acceptance from strangers by posting a
selfie and waiting for people to reblog, like, or comment on it. Boredom
might lead to extended conversations online with someone they’ve never
met about deeply personal matters. Loneliness can lead to online sex.
No, really. It can.
Please
please hear me, parents. I am not an outdated,
irrelevant old person sitting on my metaphorical front lawn griping
about “kids these days”. I spend more time with teenagers than I do with
people my own age. And in many cases, I spend more time with your
teenagers than even you do. I am begging you to give a crap about your
kids. When I was a teenager myself, social media was just gaining
popularity and my mom had my Myspace and Facebook password. I never sent
a message, posted a picture, or added a friend without her knowing it.
It sounds extreme, but I’m safe today because of it. I can’t even count
the many times I would have done something incredibly unsafe and
irresponsible if not for the fact that I knew my mom was watching.
My success as an adult today can be blamed almost wholly on the fact
that my parents were involved in my life. I could go on forever about
the rising rate of teen suicides, sexual miscreance, and drug abuse
problems that can be traced back to beginnings in social media. These
things are real. And if
you don’t show up in your kid’s life and give a crap, maybe no one will.
That is all.
