What's Happenin @ Collision

Below is a brief summary of what we have been talking about recently.  Most of the time we teach through a series for several weeks at a time that way students that miss can get caught back up quickly, and so we can dissect a topic more fully than just a one night deal. Use the overview and questions for both you and your teen to answer and have a dialog that continues outside the church walls and into your homes.  Use this opportunity to see what God is teaching your student and also allow your student to see what God is teaching/taught you.

Series Overview

When you were little, what did you dream about becoming? An astronaut? A ballerina? A professional wrestler? Whatever it was, chances are it was something that you felt was important. Something big.  That’s the thing about little kids— they dream big because no one has told them that they can’t do something yet. They literally have no limits.  But it’s different when we get older, isn’t it? In middle school and high school we start to see the areas we lack for the first time. We’re not the most popular or influential. We aren’t the most talented. And eventually we start to wonder if we can ever do or be anything significant. The big-dreaming days of our childhood feel long gone under the weight of our all-too-limiting reality. That’s exactly what happened in the life of a guy named Moses. With a tough past and not many real skills, he had no reason to believe that his life would be used do anything extraordinary. But after a few encounters with God, Moses’ perspective changed completely. He found that, with God, there is no limit to what you can do.

Week 2 (2014.10.08)

Do you ever feel like everyone expects too much of you? Like the pressure of it all is just too much and it makes you feel like you shouldn’t even try? Or maybe you feel like no one expects much of you. No one pushes you or believes in you. Either way, facing the expectations of others can feel paralyzing. And, in that way, we have a lot in common with Moses. God had given him a task that felt way outside the limits of his ability, way outside of anything he could do on his own. Moses felt underprepared and overwhelmed. He was ready to quit. But in his most anxious and fear-filled moment, God said something to Moses—one phrase—that changed the way he saw himself and everything around him. And it has the power to do the same for us!

Just for you Mom or Dad...

Think About This: Do you ever wonder if you’re that parent? You know the one. The imaginary bar determining your success as a parent is always just out of reach. Or maybe you worry about over-parenting. You know you should probably back off a little bit—but you can’t help but always push, expect, encourage the best from your student. The truth is, parents usually are not satisfied with how they’re parenting—whether that is too much, too little, or a strange combination of both. And, every student is different—so it’s hard to gauge whether we are pushing them to succeed or pushing them to the brink of a breakdown. At some point or another, most of us wonder whether we expect too much or too little.  

Research seems to suggest that, knowingly or unknowingly, most of us err on the side of too much pressure.  In the Pew Research article, Parental Pressure on Students, authors Richard Wike and Juliana Horowitz ask, Have American parents become too pushy about their kids’ education? Many experts seem to think so, judging from several new books by journalists and psychologists that bemoan the growing pressure students feel to do well in school. But at least one group of non-experts — the American public — begs to differ. According to a Pew Global Attitudes survey, most Americans think parents are not pushing their children hard enough.

In other words, while most of us think we aren’t expecting enough out of our students, researchers and experts feel our expectations may be a little too high. So what exactly are we supposed to do?

Visit tomorrow but live in today. Especially with high school students, it’s easy to let most of our conversations drift toward what happens next. Decisions about classes, study habits, dating, and extra-curriculars lure us towards focusing on the future. And sure, college is coming, but our student isn’t there yet. For them, it can be overwhelming to feel like they have to have all of the answers about what’s next while still juggling the expectations they feel today. That doesn’t mean we should never talk about future goals, but don’t let it take up all of your conversational space. Be present in their present.

Believe the best —and say so. Sometimes our students will win in a certain situation and sometimes they’ll lose. Sometimes their choices will make us proud and other times they’ll make us cringe. Most students have a tendency to confuse our feelings about their actions with our feelings about them. But in every situation, communicate your belief in your student. Their performance, their behavior, their attitudes don’t diminish their value. They’re significant. Valuable. Worthwhile. Don’t ever miss a chance to tell them so. Consider making an extra effort to communicate that you believe good things about them regardless of how they perform at school or on the athletic field. Try saying something like this, “I wish you hadn’t cheated on your test and there will definitely be some consequences, but I don’t believe this is in your character. I know you’re an honest person and next time I really think you’ll study harder to make the grade.”

 

Intentional Interaction

• Do you feel like other people expect too much out of you or too little?
• Do expectations make you want to try harder or stop trying altogether? Why?
• How would that be different if you were confident that God is with you?